i have soooo many photos to upload but pressed for time.

i promise, i really do come this weekend, i just have to finish some of my projects. one of which is... we're in the process of moving! ^_^ yes, my not-so-little shiro and i are definitely moving. i'll be posting more as soon as we get settled. in the meantime [fingers and toes crossed] i do hope and pray that it will push through this time.

i guess you heard on the news on both radio and TV about the typhoon that hit the Philippines. until now we are experiencing the brunt of it.

properties were lost, lives were lost. it is a sight that would make one's knees go weak. i would say that i belong to the fortunate ones whose house was not affected by the flood and i do thank God for that, i really do. i feel for those who lost not only their properties but their loved ones as well.

i can do only so much, being a simple working person that i am. on the brighter side of things, we see people left and right pledging monetary donations, giving clothes, food, water and other materials that the survivors need. some would even voluntarily give their services such as helping in packing of food and clothing for the survivors. politics at the moment is forgotten [thank goodness] for what is needed right now is to help our brothers and sisters who are badly affected by the typhoon.

i told my son about this and made him aware that we could help, even in our own little way. this week we would be bringing clothes and stuff to my [alumni] school in makati where they would forward it to abs-cbn who would be distributing it. its not much but it would help even in a little way. having read the journal of wherein both private and government agencies were listed where one could send their donations, in behalf of our fellow filipinos, i am thanking you in advance in any help that you could give.

after the rain, theres always a rainbow. it would not be easy at first but im not losing hope nor faith that our fellow filipinos can move on.

honestly... i dont know how to start this. its only now, after an hour that its confirmed that i am an adopted child. and i found out in the most nasty and ugliest way. from my 'cousin' who since now i know im adopted, is not my blood relative... will i say thank goodness? hmmm... the bitchy me would say 'ohhhh yeah!' lol

yeah she threw it at my face and even said that i am just an adopted child and that if there is someone who is the rightful heir to the house it would be her, since she is my mom's niece... in short, blood relative. during that ugly confrontation, between that 'cousin' and i, i looked at my mom and my heart went out to her since i saw the hurt in her eyes... hurt that i have to find out the truth this way. i wont lie, i wont pretend -i hate my 'cousin', for her 'holier than thou' attitude, for thinking that since i am adopted i am twisted... for being a single mom... she even have the audacity of accusing my son for something so absurd and stupid.

to begin with, im not close with my mom. im a daddy's girl and when he passed away, i feel that a part of me died too. im left with a mom who i am not close with. my relationship with my mom is very much like lorelie and ellen gilmore... thats how we are... sun and moon. day and night. yin and yang.

ever since i was a kid, i always have this feeling that somehow, i am adopted. but my dad loved me so much and were really close. more like buddies rather than the patriarchal parent and child relationship. a lot of my traits, i got it from him. i bonded more with my dad, rather than with my mom. and when he passed away, it was really hard for me.

two years ago, my mom had surgery, in which blood was needed. her blood type is ab+ and when i gave blood for her, it was then that i found out that mine is different. at that time, i was too worried to think if i really am adopted, i thought at that time that maybe i have the same blood type with my dad. it was at the back of my mind, but i didnt dwell on it since i was focused more on the well being of my mom.

as i am writing this down, my mom told me that i came from this religious orphanage where unwanted babies from wealthy families are being taken. i asked her how i looked like when she first saw me and she said that i was cute and chubby. she even volunteered of taking me to that orphanage, if i am interested to know my roots... without batting an eyelash, i told her, 'what for? adopted or not, YOU are my mother. i may not be the best daughter, i know i have been stubborn and i am sooo not a model daughter... i have screwed up big time at one point in my life... but what matters most is that i have you and daddy who took me and raised me as your own, loved me and gave me the best education and future a parent could give. and until my dying day, you and you will always be my parents. i may not always tell you, i may not always show you, but i do love you. and now that i know the truth, i am very thankful.'

as for my 'cousin'... if she thinks she won this round... she didnt. it only showed her true colors. i dont give a damn if i am adopted. i love my parents, i am proud of the surname they gave me... i am home.

i've been planning and planning and planning on super updating my fict and also to go back to sketching. and it happened.

the latest update was done last week and tonight, i begin to work with my sketching. i really miss sketching, or as others would say, freehand drawing. since childhood i really love to draw and i use to make my own version of manga with it... when i was in college it stopped since i had to concentrate on my studies and begin to learn how to draw still life, perspective, furniture and the like for the course i was taking. but the good part is i also learned how to use the water color.

after work i went to a bookstore to get a new sketchbook, and as i was at the counter paying, i was like a kid wanting to go home to play her new 'toy'... lol! as i begin to draw, its like im being transported back in time where i would just be in my favorite corner and draw all day. looking at my draft sketch, i guess i'm still a little rusty, like my lines and shading needs to get worked on. but im not losing hope that i would get back to the swing of things.

march is here and so am i... tired from the everyday grind of work and also helping my son with his school projects since school time here in manila is about to end... come april and the long holiday with it, i really really will be updating my work here as well as try my hand again in drawing... *nods* hai hai, i know how to draw/sketch aside from furniture and rooms i'll make an attempt in drawing my fave bleach anime character and hope i can pull it off or else i'll pull my hair!

i'll also be finishing my 2nd fanfict on byakuya and my made up character, michiko. i'll also be posting some new stories with it.

hmm... im really looking forward to that week